Thought RecordUnhelpful thinking styles
Distressing thoughts tend to follow a handful of patterns. Therapists call them cognitive distortions or thinking traps. Everyone thinks this way sometimes, and more so when tired, stressed, or low.
All-or-nothing thinking
Only two options, with nothing in between. Anything short of perfect counts as failure.
“If the presentation isn’t perfect, I’ve blown it.”
Overgeneralizing
One event becomes a rule, often with “always” or “never.”
“I didn’t get the job. Nothing ever works out for me.”
Mental filter
One bad detail colors everything else.
“The review was good apart from one comment, so it was a bad review.”
Discounting the positive
Good things get explained away so they don’t count.
“They only said it went well because they had to.”
Mind reading
Assuming you know what someone else is thinking, usually something bad, without checking.
“He hasn’t texted back, so he’s annoyed with me.”
Fortune telling
Treating a bad outcome as already decided.
“I’ll freeze in the interview.”
Catastrophizing
Jumping to the worst case and treating it as likely or unbearable.
“If I lose this client, I’ll lose the business.”
Magnifying and shrinking
Blowing up your mistakes or other people’s strengths, and shrinking your own.
“My typo was humiliating. Her promotion shows how far behind I am.”
Emotional reasoning
Taking a feeling as proof. I feel it, so it must be true.
“I feel guilty, so I must have done something wrong.”
Should and must statements
Rigid rules for yourself or others, followed by guilt or anger when they’re broken.
“I should be able to handle this without help.”
Labeling
Summing up a whole person, often yourself, with one word after one event.
“I forgot her birthday. I’m a terrible friend.”
Personalizing and blaming
Taking all the blame for something with many causes, or putting all of it on someone else.
“My son is struggling in school because I’m a bad parent.”
Using the labels
Naming a pattern can help you step back and see a thought as a habit of mind rather than a report on reality. A label is not a verdict, though. Calling something mind reading does not prove the other person was not annoyed. Treat the label as a hint about where to look, then weigh the evidence.
The categories overlap, and most thoughts fit more than one. Do not spend long choosing. The longer version, with the research, is in the Learn article on thinking styles.